id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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