My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
