No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
