why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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