Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
