Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
