She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
