My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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