I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you had me at cake vodka
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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