How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize