Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
