I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
