Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
