More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
