I will die if light touches me.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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