We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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