I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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