My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
