my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
