You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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