I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
