Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
