is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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