You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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