Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
