theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs