Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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