Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
