Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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