Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
