Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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