pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
