This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize