I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
