so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
