After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
