I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
