Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
