i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
