I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
be right there i have to get my cape
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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