We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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