Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
