Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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