Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he puts the penis in happiness.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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