what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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