I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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