mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
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I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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