i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
