My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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