after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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