Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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