he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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