Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
