she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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