Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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