Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
