There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
