Nicole vs. Life
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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