is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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