Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
