I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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